Monday, July 18, 2011

Priorities Ring--I am very good friends with procrastination but allshe ever does is introduce me to regret

It is never my intention to remain absent and disconnected.  When I am it is usually due to a ringing in my ears.  I try to ignore it and let the machine get it but that doesn’t always work.  They just keep calling back, over and over, like an annoying telemarketer.

Who are they anyway?

They are the never ending list of feelings, moods, hiccups, things-to-do and conversations with Ms. F. Quibbler.  They are the calls that come from every direction; wearing me out and leave me waiting for a new day.  Sometimes it feels like that new day will never come.  My muse comes and goes as she sees fit, there are bills to pay, my new cel-phone doesn’t work and it takes three trips to the service provider before the issue is resolved.  I go on a road trip across two-thousand miles to attend a wedding and on the way the air conditioning goes out while driving through the hot desert and I arrive at the hotel sweaty, cranky and smelly.  Then the car breaks down and I wonder how and when I’m going to get home.  I manage to push through the experience as even more hiccups occur.  I’m glad to get back and can’t wait to relax and write and blog and create and get back to playing in the art journaling workshop I signed up for.

The calls they just keepa coming though.  The laundry wants my attention, as do the floors, windows and dishes, the bathroom, my family and pets.  The garage is one HUGE, hot mess.  Weeds are popping up in the flower bed.  I discover a bee hive in a branch of our backyard tree and a wasp nest adjacent to the patio where I wish I could be sitting with my netbook and iced mocha…writing, sharing and blogging.  There are spaces to be purged, a new work station to create and build, status updates, meals to prepare, papers to file, files to shred, projects to complete, ideas to manifest and business nuts & bolts to take care of.  With all this ringing in my ears I can’t hear myself think.  I wanted to make a list of all the calls that were coming in and needed to be answered, but the list is so overwhelming that I was afraid my pen would run out of ink.  Without the list I forget and when I remember there is something else I’m in the middle of doing.

I start beating myself up because I feel absent and disconnected.  Marcy the Muse knocks and stays for a while but I’m too tired to participate or share and of course Ms. F. Quibbler is putting her two-cents in.  I’m not writing, playing, creating, sharing, blogging, participating, exercising…at the same time it’s not like I’ve been sitting on my bump and doing nothing.  The garage is clean; I have a new standing work station and somewhere beyond all the ringing I can hear Ms. Marcy the Muse rapping softly at my door.

Every night I’d tell myself that I’ll exercise…tomorrow.  I’ll eat breakfast…tomorrow.  I’ll write…tomorrow.  I’ll update my website…tomorrow.  I’ll edit those photographs…tomorrow.   I’ll blog…tomorrow.  I’ll comment on this…tomorrow.  I’ll do things differently…tomorrow.  As we all know, tomorrow never comes.

Then I was hit upside m’ head…in the most loving, gentle way possible.

Last week on Facebook Megan Monique happened to share, “This morning I've been pondering the question of priorities. What are your priorities and do you act on them in their preferred order?”  She later shared her experience on her blog, If I Were a Rainbow; One day, my health will not only be a priority in my mind, but one you can see in my actions as well.

My initial response, after family of course, was “I dunno” and “No.”   Megan’s pondering stayed with me and I began to realize that my weight and writing (journaling) are the two things I think about most and the two things I most regret not having done at the end of the day.  They are the two things I insist I will do tomorrow…every night.  Priorities ring, but with all the other noise, chatter and calling I can’t hear a thing.   I’m very good friends with procrastination but all she ever does is introduce me to regret. 

Fortunately for me, I’ve got a host of delightful, inspiring Goddesses like @MeganMonique in my life’s stream and now that I have a clearer understanding of what my true priorities are I can get on with the act of managing them in their proper order; having fewer bedtime meetings with regret and a more intimate relationship with balance.

Up next on Kreative Notions….show & tell.  :)

3 comments :

  1. Thank you so much for that sweet mention. I am so glad that thought of mine turned into something for you. I am still struggling with all that jazz right now. At this moment I am in an angry, irritated space & can't seem to find my way out. But like all things, this too shall pass. <3

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  2. 'Twas my pleasure. I hear you. We all have moments of struggle within the angry, irritated spaces. It is at those times when I become quiet and absent as I rearrange furniture, clean, reorganize. It is through shifting my focus to purging my physical space that I am able to open up and purge my inner space. ((((YOU))))

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  3. :) Love you both!!! xxoo

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